i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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