We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
