I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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