Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
