The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
