3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
