lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
