it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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