Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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