Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
