Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
