@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
