before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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