I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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