im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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