so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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