just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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