i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
