By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
