So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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