yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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