dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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