At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
