shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
