I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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