i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
