ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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