So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she peed on how many people?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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