I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
