There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
