I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
