Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
