Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
