around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
