What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
