I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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