Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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