i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
