He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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