I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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