im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
