I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
pop tarts are not kleenex
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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