Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
