my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
