Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
