hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
