So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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