This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
