those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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