If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
