I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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