I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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