Do vagina's smell?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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