Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
