so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize