He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
