As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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