oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
