I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
